The war that never won

tell me something that i dont know,

please

no more lying.

im sick of it

no more fake smile

no more falls hope

tell  me the truth

lead me to the reality

confess to me about all the lies between you and me,

 stop arguing,

because its sickening

stop screaming

because im deaf,

stop crying 

because im  blind, 

stop kindness 

because im heartless,

give me a reason to stand strong,

give me reason to speak up,

give me reason to smile,

give me reason to laugh,

give me reason to lead a normal life.

just shot me straight to the heart.

because im lifeless

stop me from bleeding much deeper.

dont save me 

because i am already dying

dont cry for me because im not worth for the tears

but please smile because im worth for the joy.

just let this soul die,

and change it with a new one.

kenapa jadi macam ni ye?

saya minyak maaf.

tapi saya terpaksa cakap.

saya pun tak tahu kenapa jadi macam ni.

tiba-tiba je.

dah perasaan tu datang tiba-tiba takkan saya nak paksa kan?

iye awak, tiba-tiba je rasa terkilan.

saya sedih.

maafkan saya ye kalau saya merajuk tak tentu pasal.

bukan niat saya.

hati dan perasaan saya ni sangat sensetif.

tak tau kenapa.

baru-baru ni je,

sebelum ni tak pon.

mungkin semuanya berlaku terlalu cepat.

saya sendiri pon tak sempat nak biasa kan diri dengan keadaan.

kalau lah aku ni hanya tembok,

selfish ke aku?
dulu aku susah tada yang datang tolong pon.
sekarang aku senang dah,
pertolongan korang tak penting.
bukan aku nak berlagak,
tapi ni lah pengajaran yang aku dapat dulu.

dulu
aku tak reti nak terasa.
tak reti nak makan hati.
tak reti bahasa,
tak reti kena kutuk,
tak retu kena pulau.
tak reti nak merajuk
tapi tu suma dulu.

sekarang.
aku boleh terasa,
aku boleh merajuk,
aku boleh mengamok,
semua pon boleh.
sebab,
aku ade hati dan perasaan,.

kenapa kalau korang yang buat tak apa.
bila aku pulak tak boleh.
aku dah penat nak buat semua orang COMFORT,.
COMMON la,
aku pon manusia jugak.

konon-konon

ini apa yang kau pernah cakap dulu lah,.
iye satu masa dulu.

hm..
even kite ade couple,
kawan yg paling best..

even kite ade kawan yg stab back,
kite banzai!!

teringin jugak nak tgk macam apa yang di katakan.

tapi sekarang tak dah,.

tula orang kata dulu lain, sekarang lain.

masa depan lagi la lain.

pelik kan?

itu lah manusia, semua nya akan berubah.

cuma kadang kita yang tak perasan.

saya budak milo

Thanks awak.

Makan ice cream sama-sama,

Minum Ribena sama-sama.

Gelak kuat-kuat.

Awak da jadi budak Milo sebab saya.

Awak da cucuk langit dengan saya.

Kita jadik degil sama-sama.

dan

buat orang rasa annoying sama-sama.

Biar la ape orang nak kata.

Janji kita bahagia.

recepies of internal happiness

im leaving
all this nothingness inside of me.
as im confused.

leaving all this mess

and heartache.

screaming and shouting.

frown and misery

hatred and sadness.


im just me.
too optimistic maybe.
take me as i am 
or 
just leave me for who you dint like.


for the sake of happiness,
throw all those hatred away,
live the life to the fullest
love yourself for the way who you are
and
dont hate for what you are not.

its just not a part of my dream

solid and well planned.

hurt and loved.

pain and desire.

it is too late

 when i start to realize that he is a part of my dream that can never came true.

i stumble when i try to walkaway

and i choke when i try to say goodbye.

now im trying my best, all heart out.

once and for all.

im leaving.

thanks for the memory and the heartache.

all my life i`ve been waiting for someone like you.